WE are judas

Today is called Spy Wednesday. It’s the day that Judas was said to have made the deal with the Pharisees to hand over Jesus with a kiss for 30 pieces of silver. He would likely have sneaked away from the group to meet with the Pharisees so that none of the Apostles would have known what he was doing.

That got me wondering. Scripture is silent on what Jesus and the Apostles were doing today. We know that tomorrow they eat the Passover supper, and in Luke 22:7 we read that tomorrow they make preparations by securing the location and needs for the meal. Maybe today they were wondering where they would set up, gather what they need, buy food, prepare, in other words, just going about their business. It wasn’t “Holy Week” for them. It was just going to be a “normal” Passover. Of course Jesus knew it was “The Last Supper” and He knew what Judas was doing and all but called Him out the following night, but the rest of the 11 (excluding Judas) didn’t know what was coming or that this year’s Passover meal would be different than any other. They didn’t know He would wash their feet or change the words for the meal (and they would have noticed right away when He didn’t say exactly what was said at each part of the meal. When he started talking about how eager He was to eat this supper with them before He suffered (Luke 22:15) they would have noticed.)

They were doing their ministry with Jesus just as they had since they joined him.

They didn’t know what was coming, but Jesus did. He knew that today Judas had arranged a meeting and made an agreement. He betrayed his friend. His savior.

It’s easy for us to look at Judas as the other. Judas is the weak link where it all fell apart. Judas is the reason for Christ’s darkness and suffering. Judas was weak or greedy or short sighted. Judas wasn’t as good as the others.

It’s easy to blame, but really, we are Judas. Our sins and failures are a betrayal of Jesus. The times we sin in secret and put on a holy face for Sunday, we are Judas. The times when we beat ourselves up rather than going to Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we are Judas.

Luke 8:17 says For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible, and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light. And Luke 12:3 says Therefore whatever you have said in the darkness will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be proclaimed on the housetops.

There is no such thing as a “white lie” or a private sin. Each time we act outside of God’s will we have missed the mark. We have sinned, and it alters the course of our lives. We are Judas.

The difference is we know the Savior who can restore us into right relationship with God and the community of faith. While Judas gave into despair because of his actions, we can come into restored relationship through our brokenness.

Today, on this Spy Wednesday, where are places of your life you are ashamed of or fearful of letting into the light? What are parts of your life you’ve kept back from God or tried to keep hidden in the dark corners of your heart?

Ask God to reveal those areas to you today. Then, rather than continuing to be like Judas…rather than staying separated from God, open your heart to Him and offer your attachments and struggles to him on Friday (or at confession at your church before Friday  ). Take your sins to the Cross to be crucified with Christ so that you may also rise with Him.

As always, if you’re reading this, I’m praying for you. Please pray for me that I may grow into the person God had in mind when he loved me into existence on purpose, with purpose and for purpose.