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Uncertainty is a sure thing. And frankly, we wouldn’t want it any other way. I know right now, while things feel like they’re spiraling out of control, it’s not fun and exciting the way some uncertainty can be. What we really mean is, we like GOOD surprises…not surprises in general. Right?
Tight grips on life’s circumstances just leads to disappointment and sore hands, but letting go altogether seems like more than we can bear, so what do we do?
It would be trite for me to tell you to just take a deep breath, as we call it at home, give it an Elsa (Let It Goooooo), so let’s talk about some things that actually work when you’re feeling out of contr
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Breathe. Yep. I know I said I wasn’t going to tell you to just take a deep breath, and I’m not, but I am going to tell you to breathe. When we are stressed, we tend to hold our breath. If you’re feeling stressed, ask yourself, “Am I breathing?” Chances are you’re either holding your breath or breathing really shallowly. That sends a message to your brain that something is really wrong. Take a deep breath through your nose, and let it fill your belly. Don’t just lift your shoulders. Then, exhale fully out your mouth.. I recently heard it described as squeezing your belly toward your spine as you exhale. Do that slowly, 4 or 5 times to make sure you’re oxygenating, and that you’re stimulating your vagus nerve which can switch your body from fight or flight to rest and digest….a more relaxed state.
Go outside if you can. If there’s sun, turn your face to the sun and close your eyes for a minute. Your body runs on a circadian rhythm which controls hormone release in your body. If you’re inside all the time, it isn't’ amazing for your rhythms and can impact so much, including your mood. Even just a few moments of fresh air and some sunshine makes all the difference. Sitting in front of a window is nice, but it’s not as good as actual outside air and direct light.
If you have an animal, engage with that animal. Pet your dog. Watch a goat chew cud. If you don’t have an animal, look at a bird outside or even a bug. Watch how it moves and what it does. In addition to slowing you down, the repetition of the animal chewing, or the movement of the bird has a calming effect and shifts your brain to something else. The tactile feeling of petting your dog is grounding too. If you don’t have an animal or a big to watch, take a drink of water. The goal here is to engage your 5 senses in a simple way.
Pray. Something simple. Don’t go into a rant to God about how much you have going on or how worried you are about things. Keep it simple. Lord, I believe, I adore, I trust, and I love you. Just say that slowly with your breath and repeat it a few times. I know you are in control. Recognize that you are not in control, but God is.
Tell someone you’re struggling. One of the devil’s favorite tactics is to make you feel like you’re the only one. No one else is struggling with this. Everyone else has it together. Or my favorite, Sure, other people struggle with this sometimes, but they handle it quickly and so much better than you do. That is total BS. Now, please be intentional about who you talk to. Don’t talk to someone who’s just going to jump on and spiral with you. Talk to someone who is going to listen, and really hear your struggle, and then help you move forward. Even just the act of saying it outloud has the effect of “turning on the lights in the haunted house” and suddenly it’s not so scary anymore. No, it doesn’t end the war or lower grocery prices, but it brings you back to what is true and real right in front of you. And frankly, when you’re no longer in a panic state, you are more able to think of solutions that actually will help you. No, still not likely that you’ll end the war from your kitchen, but you can make that next good meal for your family and tend to the tasks that were given to you rather than overlooking them to focus on something that wasn’t yours to solve in the first place.
I want to be super clear in all of this. The things you’re worried about aren’t made up. The events in the world or even in your own neighborhood are real. However, two things are true: First, you worrying isn’t solving them and probably is bringing anxiety into the lives of the people you encounter, which I know you don’t want. Second, when you’re in an anxious state, you’re incapable of coming up with good solutions. In that fight or flight state, you’re just surviving…and our bodies aren’t meant to live in that state. From a peaceful state, you might actually be able to come up with some solutions…and you’ll be peaceful and calm through it.
At the end of the day, you were loved into existence On Purpose, With Purpose, and For Purpose. It’s likely that your purpose doesn’t include solving all the problems all around the world. Yes, pray for them. Yes, be aware. Yes, get involved locally if you feel called to. But chances are, you are tasked with loving your husband and raising your children and helping them get to heaven. Don’t let the distractions outside of those things keep you from tending those souls well.
Know that I’m praying for you and you are on my mind. No, perhaps I don’t know your specific situations, but I’ve prayed for everyone who reads this and I write with you in mind.
God is good. No matter what happens in your life or in the world today, that fact remains and never changes.
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